![]() Parents with adult children in the midst of a new courtship/relationship may overlook that their adult children still have developmental milestones to achieve – i.e. Depending on how this is managed and the amount of time the parent previously spent with his/her children and grandchildren, this can result in the parent spending less time with their children and grandchildren. Older parents who are re-partnering need to invest time and energy into their couple relationship. Biological parents and stepparents of adult stepchildren have significant roles to play in maintaining and/or building positive relationships with the children. However, relationships need to be reciprocal. It is true that an adult child has more control over the parent-child relationship than younger more dependent children. While the burden is on the stepparent and parent/s alone to help a younger child adjust to stepfamily life, an adult child is capable of, and can rightfully be expected to, significantly contribute to working out relationships. Problems coping with parental pressure to develop a close relationship with a stepparent.īUT, There are some stepfamily challenges that look very unique from the adult stepchild’s perspective:.Disliking their parent showing overt signs of affection such as embracing or flirting with a new partner, and.Feeling angry at their parent and/or stepparent.Feeling uncomfortable, rejected or betrayed by a parent’s decision to remarry.Some challenges in stepfamilies look similar for both grown and younger children.Ī child, no matter what their age, is likely to experience the following to some extent when a parent enters a new relationship: Patricia Papernow, author of Surviving and Thriving in Stepfamily Relationships: What Works and What Doesn’t, notes that stepfamily dynamics can be just as complicated and stressful in stepfamilies with grown children as for stepfamilies with younger children. Stepfamilies require big adjustments for children no matter if they are 4, 14 or 44 years old at the time. We are also having fewer children, so relationships between adult children and their parents are increasingly important. In fact, there are some family demographers who believe counting stepfamilies with adult children would double the number of stepfamilies in the USA. And that means, we are seeing an increase in older people ending and forming new relationships – and may of those involve and impact on grown children. We are more likely to be working until 65 and beyond. But, ‘late in life’ marriages/partnerships are on the rise. It’s rare both in the research and in the currently available stepfamily supports to find much of anything that focusses directly on adult stepchildren. When we think of stepfamilies, we generally picture a couple with one or more primary school children and perhaps a teenager thrown into the mix for good measure. ![]()
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